Influence People More Consistently

Influence is a critical skill. In this article, I’ll share tips, emotional insights, and resources that will help you be more influential.

One of the first books I read (and recommend reading) about influence is Dale Carnegie’s masterpiece, How to Win Friends and Influence People. His advice is timeless.

I was recently researching influence and persuasion to strengthen my skills as a sales coach and manager.  I reviewed Carnegie’s book. 

In this article, I’ll share a few ideas from How to Win Friends and Influence People, share insights about the role your confidence plays in your ability to consistently influence people, and provide a list of resources about influence that you may find as valuable as I do.

Winning Friends and Influencing People

Dale Carnegie’s book can serve as a life guide about how to be influential. The book spells out several commonsense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after reading the book.

Dale Carnegie himself suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce his techniques from time to time.

If you haven’t read his book, in it Carnegie describes techniques that make people want to be with you. One of the simplest techniques is to use somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know their name, be sure to use it whenever you talk with that person.

People value and appreciate hearing their names more than you may imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel.

It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.

Another technique that Carnegie describes is to identify and focus on other peoples’ interests.

If you know somebody that is interested in elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, take a moment to share it with them. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get a general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.

The techniques described in the book may seem very basic or even trivial.  They’re not. These techniques really work.

There are several other techniques that are described which can really help you build your influence skill.

What’s great about Dale Carnegie’s techniques is they are not difficult to incorporate into your life and yet they have a tremendous impact on how you are perceived by others. It is almost magical at how well it works.

Dale Carnegie wrote the book to help salespeople sell better. The book was an offshoot of a course he developed with the same motivation.

You do not need to be a salesperson to take advantage of the techniques contained in this book.

Confidence Leads to Influence

One emotion that helps build your ability to influence others consistently is self-confidence.  Building your confidence is a great step toward being more influential.

When you exude confidence, it’s observable by others. They will begin to see you as a confident individual who’s able to handle tough situations that arise.

Confidence is not something you are born with. Sure, some people naturally are confident, and it is easier for them to be that way. Fortunately, confidence is something that can be learned. It may require you to challenge and update some of your beliefs, but it is possible.

The first step in becoming more confident is to increase your knowledge base.  Know as much as possible about the situation you’re in.

If you’re a sales representative, having a deep-enough knowledge of your products and services and building a solid pre-call plan can help you be more confident in your customer interactions.

If you have the necessary knowledge, you will be able to answer questions that arise. This makes you authoritative when interacting with your customers.

Next, consider what you want to accomplish. Identify the desired outcome you are working toward, then work backward from there. 

Maybe you are meeting with a prospective client for the first time.  You may want to sell your product, but you’ll develop more influence by learning more about what your customer Is looking for.  Usually, your product or service is a good fit – if you’ve done your homework.

Have you ever been underprepared for a meeting?  It’s not a good feeling, is it?  It’s tough to influence the customer, your colleague, or your boss if you’re on your heels because you weren’t ready for the interaction.

Winging it almost never works. It’s more effective when you know what you want right from the start.

After you determine what you want to accomplish, you can map out a plan in the form of goals and milestones. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks, the entire process becomes more manageable.

Having a good plan adds to your confidence levels because those smaller tasks will be easier to complete. It’s also a great feeling each time a milestone is met.

What if your plan doesn’t survive live contact with your customer, or your business? Nothing is set in stone and there is room for change in your plan.

Part of being confident is knowing when something isn’t working and having the courage to adjust. By doing this quickly, you will not lose face. In fact, when you make the decision to change you will show that you maintain the confidence needed. No one can be right 100% of the time.

If you’re changing your plan, it’s critical to make the decision, then stick to your new path. Be firm on why you are changing and make the decision quickly.

Can you become more confident and ultimately more influential?  We outlined a couple of ideas here.  Confidence leads to influence.  Improvement takes commitment and time.

As you continue along your path to mastering your influence skills, expect resistance.  Review your progress regularly and challenge yourself to stay the course.

Below you’ll find a few additional resources to aid you on your path to mastery.

Useful Resources for Boosting Influence

There are several resources that can help you become influential. Use them as a guide to learn and as resources to keep your influence intact.

Google.com

Although obvious, you should always start your search using this ubiquitous search engine. One trick that many people overlook is to search beyond the first page of the results.

You can often find some gems as these webmasters are trying to fight their way to the top of the search engine results. These gems are often resources that are less about selling and more about offering great value.

Reviewing the related questions and searches that Google provides on the first search page can be useful, too.

Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This book belongs in everyone’s library and needs to be read multiple times to reinforce the lessons. It is available as a Kindle book and if you are a member of Kindle Unlimited, you can get a version of it as part of that subscription. There are even several summarized versions of the book for those that don’t want to take the time to read the entire book. The book is easy to read, though.

Udemy.com

Udemy has several courses related to influence, charisma, etc. Some of them may seem expensive but Udemy runs sales on its courses often. You can also search online for “Udemy Coupon Codes” as instructors like to use these to lure learners to their courses.

Book: Influence by Robert Cialdini

This book outlines 6 rock-solid skills for influence.  The principles are derived from research.  It’s a must read for anyone who’s serious about increasing their ability to influence others.

Skill Share

Like Udemy, you’ll find a robust catalog of courses related to influence on Skillshare.com.  You’ll also find discount codes, coupons, and frequent sales.

Amazon.com

Amazon has several books on how to influence. What’s great about Amazon is you can usually tell which books are good by reading the reviews and choosing the higher-rated ones. Another great way to use Amazon is to scan through the table of contents of the bestselling books in the category and then to search on those topics to see what you can find.

YouTube.com

It’s amazing how many people overlook YouTube when they are trying to learn something. YouTube has videos on just about any subject.

You will have to do some digging and weed through the videos that disguise themselves as courses but are just sales pitches for a product. But there are some great videos that can help when learning how to become influential.

Another advantage is YouTube is free for most videos. You may even find audiobooks on youtube.

One tip when evaluating videos: read through the comments and stay away from videos that have high thumbs-down rankings or a lot of negative comments.

Influence is a crucial skill for business people and non-businesspeople alike.  We each can be happier, more fulfilled, and more successful when we use our influence to help solve problems and build relationships.

What will you do next to strengthen your ability to influence?  Leave a comment.

Make it a great day!